A Step at a Time

Two days ago was Easter, which is not (and never has been) a big deal in our household. In fact, it was a last minute decision to buy some plastic eggs on Easter day, fill them with raisins, Cheerios, Goldfish crackers (whole grain, natch), and pretzels and stuff them in the eggs for my daughter, Lulu (not her real name - a nickname), to find. No one in our house, Lulu included, needs candy, and these snacky items were just hanging around the cupboard anyway. For good measure, I hid three pieces of candy (not in eggs) left over from Halloween for her to find, too. This at least says something about our family, that we can have candy in the house and not devour it, but candy was never my downfall. Enter Easter dinner - stuffed pork tenderloin and veggies in herb sauce. I served myself a reasonable portion, but of course, Lulu didn't like it and Thor (my one-year-old; again, not his real name but rather a ridiculous nickname referring to his Nordic white hair) just picked at it, so what is a mama to do? If you guessed, "Feed the leftovers to the dog," you would be incorrect. Don't want the dog to get fat.

Nope, I devoured them in about 10 seconds flat. Thus started "The Cycle." You know the one I'm talking about. The one where you think, "Hell, I already blew it, let's blow it some more." Cheese crackers, Apple Jacks, and a granola bar later, I stopped myself. I contemplated how many calories I'd had (about 1500 total for the day). I decided that if I stopped now, no true harm done, just a speed bump. Sure, I'd put on some water weight from the sodium I'd deprived my body of the past few days, but in the end, 1500 calories wasn't going to pack on much, if anything. Sure enough, the scale the next day reflected a .8 pound gain, but I know it's mainly water weight, and today, it's gone again.

I had *almost* convinced myself that being a holiday, I should and could eat as much as I want. Erroneous thinking, of course, that hails back to my last post about making excuses. I mean, didn't I just say we don't even really celebrate Easter? Hell, I could probably find any holiday any day of the week and turn it into an excuse to gorge. National Teacher's Day? Check (I'm a former teacher). National Secretary's Day? Double check (I was a receptionist once. Does that count?). National Chocolate Appreciation Day? Who's dumb enough to ignore that one?

Add on to the fact that Easter evening, I fell down, which is easy to do with weak, unstable knees, and I landed very hard on my knees. They are now swollen and bruised, and my left one (the one facing joint replacement in the future) has a new "click" it didn't have before. The fact that I could stop my gorging even feeling such pain and depression is a big step for me.

Last night, some family came over for dinner and we grilled chicken, made homemade macaroni and cheese, and had some asparagus and corn. Let me tell you, the mac and cheese was to die for. Screw Kraft. Even the pickiest kid at dinner (my nephew) gobbled it down. I served myself a healthy dose of it (and by healthy, I mean generous) but I anticipated that I'd want quite a bit and cut back in other areas throughout the day. At the end of the day, I probably topped out at about 1100 calories or less. Yes, I know you should not dip below 1200 calories, but keep in mind that I get much less exercise than most people due to my arthritis. So, I compensate with fewer calories.

Long story short, I made choices yesterday that I'm proud of. I don't plan on making rich and decadent dishes every day, but when I do, I want to enjoy them which means cutting back in other areas throughout the day. This coming weekend, we're going to a birthday party and I plan on using a similar day-diet so I can enjoy some party food. If I didn't, I know I'd just feel deprived and miserable.

In other news, an article in the International Journal of Obesity ("Dairy augmentation of total and central fat loss in obese subjects," Zemel et al., 2005) suggests that individuals who include yogurt in their regular diets lose a substantial amount more trunk fat (in other words, fat around the belly area) than individuals not supplementing with yogurt - about 81%, in fact, so nothing to sneeze at. 

What does this study mean for me? Back in my thinner days, I referred to myself as "skinny-fat." I was thin, but I could still stick out my stomach and look 5 months pregnant. I remember going out to the grocery store, and an older man cooed over my kids and then turned to me and said, "You must be a good Catholic woman." "Why?" I asked. "Two kids with another on the way! I commend you!" I must have looked baffled enough for him to have caught his error, and he mumbled something and retreated hastily. During this interaction, I wore a size 4. So, belly fat I have, and belly fat I shall like to lose. What's the point of wearing a size 4 - even a size 8 or higher - if you look 5 months pregnant? 


That said, based on the results in the article and my desire to get thin-thin, not thin-fat, I'm having nonfat Greek yogurt (very high in protein and calcium, just what we'd like to see in a yogurt) with strawberries for breakfast. So far, I find it filling, satisfying, with just the right sweetness for breakfast, so hopefully I can keep it up.


A day at a time, a step at a time, though. I'll make something healthy for dinner tonight, which will make it easier to not feel tempted by decadent dishes. If I want an extra helping of veggie stir "fry" (which we never fry, but steam), that's a splurge that my body can handle. If I want one more veggie-crumble taco in a high-fiber, low-calorie tortilla (by the way, I LOVE Tortilla Factory Smart & Delicious tortillas!), it probably won't make the scale slide up in the morning. If I pick at my kids' uneaten grilled chicken (sans skin), I doubt I'll feel the swelling of water weight the next day. And in the meantime, if it teaches my kids healthy eating habits at the same time, it's a win-win. But eating habits (especially those acquired in childhood) is a post for another day.


Back to sipping my husband's glorious sun tea, watching Lulu play outside with her sand table while Thor takes a nap. It's a beautiful, healthy morning.